My New Year's Resolution - Stop Being a Chuckle Head

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Ah…2009! A new year! A new round of potential pitfalls, atrocities, threats, and disasters to anticipate and rail against. In view of all the catastrophes forecast on some of the sites that we frequent, I’m just glad that we are all still here.

Perhaps a review of 2008’s predicted calamities or fortuitous events (depending on how you look at them) that did not come to pass is in order.

First, of course, is the perennial favorite: the Second Coming of Christ. It didn’t happen again. Hasn’t happened any year since he died, but that does not stop the annual anticipation of The Rapture. Actually, the Essenes were looking forward to the Apocalypse even before Christ appeared in the first place, but, then, who’s keeping track? The concept continues to sell a lot of books, packs ‘em into the pews, and brings mucho money into the collection plates, so it will not end anytime soon.

Then there is the New Age updated version, Maitreya, the messiah that Benjamin Creme has been prophesying to the world since the 70’s and 80’s. I attended an enthusiastic presentation by Mr. Creme in Portland, Oregon back in the day, and was impressed with his sweet old Englishman affect and his twinkling blue eyes. But, despite his charm – no modern messiah has strolled up the street so far. Rats.

And, all the dire symptoms not withstanding, the presidential election was pulled off without Bush and Chaney declaring martial law and suspending the election.

Oh, and those secret Ninjas that Benjamin Fulford disclosed did not jump out of the woodwork and assassinate any miscreant government, corporate or financial leaders of the world, either.

It also seems that President-elect Obama is neither a Muslim, a Jew, a communist, nor the anti-Christ. Hell, he’s not even a Jehovah’s Witness! He may be a corporate toady, but that has yet to be determined. The only sure exotic thing about him is that he was raised in Hawaii, which I consider a plus. He still seems to be a viable human being to me, despite the company that he keeps. We will have to stay tuned, I guess.

Despite supposed messages from the Pleiades, black ops whistle blowers, psychic intuitives, planetary and galactic alignments, or even web bot analysts, we did not experience major earthquakes, a tsunami in the Northwest, Bird Flu, war with Iran, a major false flag event, or transformative cosmic rays. I am still keeping a watchful eye out for those, though.

And, that two-mile long Mother Ship that was supposed to show up over Alabama in October did not appear, either. Damnit!

Yeah, and on top of that, all those claims (“as appearing on Oprah”) that drinking green tea will make you lose a bunch of weight didn’t work as promised. And, I’m out forty bucks.

Now, I know that an earthquake could hit tomorrow or I could be diagnosed with Mad Cow any day, and I would just look like even more of a moron. But, for now, I am just pausing to take a breath, calm down, and vow to be less of a chucklehead next year.

I’m sick of sending stuff to my sister-in-law, who then informs me that Snopes just discredited my information.

This is not to say that there are no real threats. “Just because you are paranoid, it doesn’t mean that no one is out to get you,” as has been said. There are real threats. The global financial construct is tanking, and I no longer think that it is a coincidence that it dovetails with the Baby Boomers reaching the age to retire. People are being thrown out of their homes and losing their jobs, and it is going to get even tougher next year. The electrical grid is very vulnerable and a lot of people could get very cold and die this winter if there is a widespread disruption of heating their homes. A lot of pensions and 401Ks may be lost next year and dreams of a comfortable retirement for a lot of people will be gone. Criminals in high places abound. So, many of the agencies and departments and companies that we rely on for our health and safety betray the people they are supposed to protect, and so we sicken and die. That’s a flat fact. Resource depletion is real. Climate change is real (whether it’s because of CO2 or the influence of the Sun). The oceans are dying. Monsanto is taking over the food supply with genetically altered Franken Food. Famine and food shortages are realities now. Israel has become some sort of Old Testament horror story. Warfare is escalating all over the globe, and may even go nuclear.

We seem to have invented a system that insures that we pay incredible sums of money to elect representatives to our government who become corrupt, self-absorbed, greedy, perverse criminals. Or, they are lazy, spoiled, self-indulgent dullards; or, privileged, insulated, power mad elitists; or good, hard-working idealists who are marginalized and ineffectual… or, combinations of the above.

Anyway, for the most part, we are on our own, and we do need to prepare and take care of ourselves and each other. Actually, I am looking forward to turning my energy away from the Wall Street hucksters and the Beltway numb nuts and Their Contrived Bullshit (TCB) to more and more localized endeavors: like seed catalogs, gardening, preserving, and simplifying, joining the Grange, organizing a farmer’s market and trading post. I plan to reach out to more and more neighbors and sharing practical responses to actual problems in real time.

I don’t pretend to know what will happen next year. All kinds of dramatic disaster movie scenarios come to mind – War of the Worlds, Grapes of Wrath, Red Dawn, Andromeda Strain, Soylent Green, The Postman, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Children of Men. But, on the other hand, my experience has been much more benign. I have found most of my neighbors to be interesting and cooperative, helpful, intelligent, and fun to be around. The weird stuff out there that captures my attention, raises my blood pressure and my fear levels, is mostly far away and speculative. They have to come up with things that are entertaining and provocative, or they are out of business.

I wonder what outfits like “Moveon.org” are going to do once Bush is out of office? Since many of their plans to influence the powers that be include sending them a check, I doubt that they will disband. Oh, and thank you so much, moveon, common cause, etc. I’m so impressed with the results you got with all those petitions. Come to think of it, did ANY of the petitions I signed and forwarded, do any good? NO? Does that mean I should sign even more petitions? See what I mean with the “chuckle head” thing?

But, I am grateful to those who have really given us a heads up warning as to what is really going on and what to prepare for. I am happy that we have taken tangible steps to creating a better future for ourselves because it has also enabled us to create a life that is more enjoyable in the here-and-now as well. And, without them, the Trout Clan would not have come to be. So, I am grateful to all those linked on our blog.

Anyway, I hope that all that should end, does end in 2009. I pray for the relief of suffering and some happy surprises. With some luck, it will be both the Beginning of the End, and the Beginning of the Beginning. So, have a Happy New Year and remember that…

WE WERE BORN FOR THIS!!

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