Heck of a Week, Wallstreet!

freeacre

Looking back over the last week, one can not help but notice that despite frantic efforts to shore up the economy by political leaders, bankers and pundits, the economy continues to take on water like a super-tanker stuck on a reef spilling its toxic load and poisoning all that it touches. As the world continues to deteriorate, the words of the Deteriorata come to mind from National Lampoon’s musical “metaphysical” counsel from years ago:

“You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.....
Deteriorata! Deteriorata!

Go placidly
Amid the noise and waste.
And remember what comfort there may be
In owning a piece thereof.

Avoid quiet and passive persons
Unless you are in need of sleep.

Ro-tate your tires.

Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
And heed well their advice,
Even though they be turkeys.

Know what to kiss.....and when!

Consider that two wrongs never make a right
But that THREE.........do.

Wherever possible, put people on hold.

Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer main-te-nance.

Chorus

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.

Remember the Pueblo.

Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mu-ti-late.

Know yourself.
If you need help, call the FBI.

Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you.
That lemon on your left, for instance.

Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.

Fall not in love therefore;
It will stick to your face.

Gracefully surrender the things of youth:
The birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan
And let not the sands of time
Get in your lunch.

Hire people with hooks.

For a good time call 606-4311;
Ask for "Ken."

Take heart amid the deepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese.

And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.

Chorus

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.

Therefore, make peace with your god
Whatever you conceive him to be---
Hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.

With all its hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal
The world continues to deteriorate.

GIVE UP!

Reprise

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.”

There you go, Mr. Paulson, Mr. Bernanke, Mr. Bush, et al, feel better? The stock markets are crashing all over the world, central banks are printing money like mad, retailers are freaking because consumers are not planning to buy much for Christmas. It seems the story being told is not “The Night Before Christmas,” but the one about killing the goose that laid the golden egg. “Heck of a job, Wallstreet!” You have left no dollars on the table. You sucked every dime out of every person and source possible, then leveraged it a bunch of times, re-sold it over and over, and now this monstrous financial creature awakens … to attack the whole world. The mortgage and credit card holders do not have any more money to spend. The Asian markets and the Western Markets look like Mothra vs Godzilla. Men in suits are looking up in horror at the electric ticker tape and running down the street in droves. I can hardly wait for the “End the Fed” demonstrations tomorrow. I don’t know whether to break out the popcorn or the ammo.

Congress just authorized the national debt to go from one trillion to two trillion in a matter of weeks. Militia men speaking before congress in C-SPAN and U-Tube told our dear leaders that debt servitude, rendition, torture, and the erosion of our inalienable rights are not acceptable. It looked like all the blood drained out of the face of Sen. Thompson in the background as he sat there looking incredibly grim.

Nine huge ships filled with hundreds of millions of dollars worth of oil and grain were hijacked and ransomed by pirates. What? PIRATES? Raggedy, half-starved looking Somalian pirates off the coast of Africa, for gods sake, taking over tankers three times bigger than an aircraft carrier?? In the face of the combined navies of the world, is that nuts or what? What the f**k is going on here?

How about that clip on Huffington Post and several other sites showing the G20 leaders all shaking hands with everyone except George Bush? Whoa! There’s a national humiliation.

Clueless Detroit automakers were not granted more billions of tax payers’ money despite their lame pleas. They should be getting it from the oil companies that have profited all this time from their gas guzzlers, not us. And, now the rumor is that the Chinese are thinking about buying General Motors and Chrysler!! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!!!! Excuse me while my head explodes…

Meanwhile, poor President-elect Barack Obama is steadfastly going ahead and putting together his new cabinet that supposedly will be up to dealing with this complete clusterfuck. All I can say is “good luck.”

Oh, and “Happy Thanksgiving!”

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